THE PRINCESS AND THE MISER PART TWO:



The miser won.

Bathroom togetherliness



One thing that seems to confuse a lot of men is the question of why women tend to go to the bathroom in pairs. I suppose to the average person it would seem quite odd, considering that sort of thing is a personal job…and in between the ages of three and 80 you tend not to need anyone else’s help. Why then do women need to go to the bathroom together? Is there some strange kind of inner urine clock that goes off at the same time when women are together? When women spend more than fifteen minutes together, do they both have synchronized bathroom urges? Or is it all some strange code? Are all women in a secret organization and hold all their meetings in public restrooms? Or are women really aliens and they have to go check their masks together? The answer to all these questions is no. As a woman who often frequents public restrooms with my sister and/or my friend quite regularly, I can tell you that there are many reasons for these accompanied restroom trips. Some are better than others, and I tend to only use a handful of these reasons myself, but they are numerous indeed. So without further ado, here is the list of all the possible reasons I could think of as to why us women can’t seem to go to public restrooms (and sometimes private ones) by ourselves. There’s more that I can think of later that I will add when I do. And just for the record, I only do about half of these.


If at a person’s house that they don’t know very well, women will often go to the bathroom in pairs because they are shy and uncertain of themselves. It’s like taking a friend with you on a date when you’re nervous. The whole support thing makes them less uncomfortable with using a stranger’s commode.

They go together so they can talk about how cute the guy/guys they are with are and they will ask each other if they think the guy/guys are into them or not.

They go to talk about how much they don’t like the guy/guys they are with.

They go to talk about a girl they just saw or who is with them who they dislike, and they will try to figure out a good nasty nickname to call her so they can snicker about it later.

They go to talk about how stupid their boyfriend is being and how they are going to go crazy if they don’t complain about him (not recommended by the way, if your guy is being stupid tell HIM)

They go to check their facial orifices for foreign matter

They go to add another lipstick of makeup and ask each other if it’s in the lines

They go so they can sneak out the window and escape from their horrible date or what have you

They go because they haven’t had a chance to really talk to each other and it counts as a social visit

They go because they don’t want to be raped or mugged (often in a remote and isolated restroom)

They go because they’re camping and no one wants to go to an outhouse in the woods in the dark

They go because the sound of the toilet flushing scares them too much

They go so that someone will turn the water on so they can pee

They go so they can make up an excuse about something and get their stories straight

They go because they miss each other

They go because one has nothing better to do and doesn’t want to be alone

They go because one doesn’t want to be left alone with whoever is not going to the bathroom

They go because they want to talk about how much they like someone who is not going to the bathroom

They go so they can call 911 and hide out until the police arrive to arrest their psycho dates

They go because one of them ran a stocking and they need help to repair it with nail polish, tape, or glue

They go because one of them has cramps and needs to sit down and cry and the other will be there for support

They go because one of them started and they need to ask the other if they have a pad but they don’t want to ask in front of everyone else

They go so they can switch articles of clothing if necessary

They go so they can avoid talking to someone unpleasant

They go to get out of a boring meeting or other social event

They go because they have a secret bathroom club and are holding a meeting (I’ve done this one)

They go so they can practice witty things to say to people they have crushes on

They go to see if their posteriors look ok

They go to fix their hair (I don’t do this one)

They go so they can tell secrets without being questioned

They go because men can’t follow them in there

They go because they both actually need to go (a rare one…)

They go so that one of them will hold the door for the other if the lock is broken

They go so that one can hold the coat and or purse of the other one while she goes

They go so that no little kids will look under the stalls because the other will protect her

They go so that no one walks in on them (this is often at people’s houses that don’t have locks on the door)

They go so that if they run out of toilet paper someone can run and get them some more

They go so that they can get a break from whatever tedious task they were doing

They go to argue with each other

They go to practice daunting conversations such as one of them breaking up with their boyfriend

They go just to keep the stereotype alive

Gilad on the beach in his lovely capri spandex

A classic aerobics move

The beauty of leg lifts

Random Workout Review



I am very much into the habit of exercise. I’ve been exercising consistently for nearly four years now and I’ve done many an aerobic tape. Generally my schedule is that I get up in the morning, do half an hour of aerobics, and then half an hour of toning and then I’m done. I do this four times a week. I know it should be five, but Wednesdays I have to get up early and don’t have the time. Since I’ve been doing this for four years, I’ve accumulated a hefty number of aerobics tapes. 65 to be exact, though in actuality there are a handful of them that I don’t do. Usually because they’re weird toning tapes that aren’t effective or something like that. I have decided to start blogging about some of these tapes that I do, as some of them are quite….eccentric. The first of these shall be Gilad.

I only have one Gilad tape thus far, and I did it this morning. It’s called Gilad: Fat burning workout, Bodies in Motion, On location in Hawaii. It is a very odd and cheesy tape, though the workout itself is quite effective. In the beginning of the video it shows slow motion scenes of Gilad running, jumping, throwing discuses, and doing all manner of manly athletic activities. Then it has his workout wenches doing leg lifts, and then more scenes of him running and stuff, and then there’s a random scene of jumping dolphins. It’s extremely cheesy and extremely, well gay for lack of a better word. I don’t think that was his intention at all though. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s straight. Still, despite that he wears capri length spandex that’s altogether too shiny and says rather corny thins such as, “Fly with the eagles!!!” And “We’re getting better every day!!” It’s all the more amusing because he has a really deep manly and powerful voice, plus he has an accent. In the end this only makes him all the more funny. I think he’s from Israel but I’m not entirely sure. Anyway, it’s a very funny tape and it’s a good workout too. There’s one point where he slips off his workout platform thingy and his foot sinks into the sand on the beach. His reaction is amusing, as is that of his workout wenches. One of them starts to laugh at him and he in turn begins drilling her to do more lunges in quite a commanding voice. He has a sense of humor about it though and decides everyone should do their own thing for thirty seconds. I don’t know why, but it’s my favorite part of the show. I love it when people mess up on aerobics tapes. It happens more than people realize, but you have to pay attention. It’s almost a hobby with me to catch their errors.

I like this workout because it amuses me highly, it’s fun to see a man in capris dancing around on the sand, saying corny inspiring things in a heavy accent, and ordering his workout wenches about. It is a highly fun romp, gets the heart rate going, and is entertaining at the same time. On a scale of 1-10 I give it a 7.7