As a girl I have been exposed to many a chick flick in my life. Chick flicks, by the way, I classify as the usual girl meets boy, they fall in love, have a bit of conflict, and then one or the other of them changes their minds due to some romantic reason or other and they’re back again and as much in love as anyone could possibly stand without actually throwing up. End of movie. Well, as I said, I’ve seen many such films in my lifetime, being a girl and all, and one in particular struck me. Only You. That’s what it’s called, and it stars Marisa Tomei, Robert Downey Jr., and Bonnie Hunt. It’s from 1994, and is about a young woman named Faith who along with her brother is playing with a ouija board when she’s 11, and asks the name of the man she will marry. The name shows up Damon Bradley. She then a few years later goes to a fortune teller who tells her the exact same thing! Years go by, she doesn’t meet the anticipated Damon Bradley and instead gets engaged to a podiatrist. Then she hears a message on the phone from someone named Damon Bradley, who happens to know her fiancé. This is only 10 days before the wedding, so on a whim she takes her best friend, and heads to Italy where the fellow is supposedly traveling. She brings her wedding dress, her fanciest clothes, and her ambition and soon goes off searching hotels and tracking down her fellow. At long last she meets the man who in a very Cinderella like fashion, returns her dropped shoe and then informs her that he is Damon Bradley upon her mentioning she is looking for him. She is wild as this man is actually pretty cute and nice and speaks Italian and has nice nineties hair. Intense making out ensues, they go back to a hotel room, and I have no idea what happens next because we had to fast forward that part, though in actuality I think they were just making out but you can never be too careful! Anyway, my point is they are clearly in love and mad about each other. Then he lowers the boom, and confesses that he is not in fact Damon Bradley, but a shoe salesman here on business but he is still mad about her anyway. She is disappointed and upset, and meanwhile her friend is depressed because she believes her husband to be unfaithful and so is somewhat guiltily enjoying a very friendly Italian man’s attentions. So that’s what’s up with Bonnie Hunt anyway. So the whole rest of the movie ensues with Faith and her would be beau and her best friend trying to find the real Damon Bradley. Naturally all ends well and it’s all inescapably mushy and romantic and all the things us women love so very very much. The difference with this chick flick though is that it is so utterly corny. So much so that it makes me laugh at it’s attempts at romanticism. For instance, there is a scene where Faith is making out very ickily with her fellow before she knows he’s not Damon Bradley. She actually utters the line, and in very steamy and passionate tones, “ I was born to kiss you.” I was born to kiss you? What kind of line is that? My gosh it sounds like one of those romance novels I wrote about! I found myself laughing as I heard it, as no one in their right mind would ever say those words. They’re so utterly sappy I can’t believe it. Also throughout the movie there was a lot of crap about destiny and stars and all other kinds of girly fairy princess like sentiments that would have fit better in a Disney movie. It was like they were setting out to make the most romantic movie that could ever be made. It took place in Italy, the leading lady had her best friend with her (always a must in chick flicks), they wore beautiful fancy clothes despite the fact that they were just going to dinner and they were far overdressed, there is soft sappy violin music, several happy reunions, and most of all, the leading man was a shoe salesman. A man with nice hair who knows about shoes? Tell me that is not a female fantasy right there? He’s like the supposed perfect man. Far too unrealistic to be taken seriously. There is even a point where Faith is about to head out to meet Damon Bradley and her would be lover sadly hands her a brand new beautiful pair of shoes that just happen to match her dress perfectly. She takes them and in the unfailing female way she exclaims, “Shoes!” He then utters the following line in a melancholy voice, “They’re bone, they should be a good color for destiny.” See what I mean? Meanwhile, Bonnie Hunt is waxing bitter about the habits of lying men. At one point she is in her hotel room with the grieving Faith as she bemoans that her lover was not in fact Damon Bradley. Bonnie Hunt then says in a somewhat flat and numb tone, “Men, they’re all liars. I married a liar. Why? Because I married a man.” For some reason I found that to be funny, as it does seem to be the way of wounded women to blame every man for the mistakes of a couple bad ones. Yes, this movie truly played with the clichés of chick flicks. There was the leading man too good to be true, the destiny star thing, the best friend who was bitter about lying cheating men and then of course found true love in the end after all, the Italian setting, the sappy music, the pretty clothes, and the follow your heart and it will set you free ending. All in all it was a chick flick that had been mutated into a strange mega super chick flick that even us women would have to raise our eyebrows at. Despite all this, the utter corniness of the lines, the annoying character of Faith and the ridiculous happenings that all the characters went through, I have a confession to make. I strangely liked the movie... Does that make me pathetic? If it does I completely understand, but if anyone asks why I will simply shrug and mutter something about Italy being pretty. ;)
posted by Ezre at 11:38 PM
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